Completamente Ateo.

After all reading and experiences I have had. I have found out that god doesn't exist. Either Jesus is god, no  Buddha, there is anything else out of us. Just the universe and nature which is just what created us and transform us as matter. Religion is bad and is just used for unscrupulous people to take advantage of others hopes. God doesn't exist and all the idea about it is our own invents.

Atheist, Agnostic?

Leyendo las comparaciones historicas de fabulas hacerca de Cristo y los dioses en el pasado, ahora comperendo como los seguidores de dioses siguieron los mismos pasos religiones en la actualidad lo hacen. Hasta el punto de hacer horribles en nombre de un dios que realmente no existe. Solo para poder hacer lo que sus oscuros intereses han deseado. Ridiculo, estupido y muy retrogrado. No puedo creer como fui enganado por esos mitos hasta hace poco, o al menos me negaba a ver la realidad. Dentro de mi aun tengo el temor que por anos he acariciado en mi cabeza. Espero poder destruir dichas emociones gravadas y basadas en mentiras.

Con la perspectiva mas abierta.

Uno de los puntos mas imporatntes para poder salir adelante en las crisis emocionales por las cuales pasamos son, primero la red de apoyo que tengamos y segundo la perspectiva con la cual veamos el o los problemas.
Al principio de cualquier situacion tenemosque tener en cuenta a cuales personas podemos confiar y preguntar acerca de la situacion enlaque nos encontremos, por ejemplo amigos, familiare o consejeros espirituales en lo que nos p[odamos apoyar. Como el caso de mi amigo Carlos que esta planeaba entrar al sacerdocio, considero las opininiones de todas las personas con las que penso podrian darle opiniones neutrales acerca de la toma de los votos. A pesar que aun no pienso sea la mejor manera de alabr a Dios, el ya tomo su decision basado en las experiencias ajenas y las suyas propias acerca del servicio en el ministerio de los padres jesuitas. Otro ejemplo fue la ayuad que encontre cuando yo me vi envuelto en la depresion causada por la mala relacion sentimental en la que me vi envuelto, la perdida de mi trabajo y el deseco de miabuela; los primeros a quienes acudi para solucionarla fueron mis amigos y mi consejero, ahora despues de meses recuperandome se que esa red fue muy importante en la rehabilitacion de mi mal estado emoconal y mental.
Como veamos la sitacion en la que nos encontramos es otro punto importante para poder sobrellevar el stress emocional. Esta comprobado que nuestra perspectiva acerca del mundo es intrinseca. A pesar que no podamos modificar los eventos externos, podemos cambiar nuestro punto de vista acerca de ello. Podemos verlo ilustrado en el caso de los immigrantes ilegales que piensan en una forma positiva acerca del cambio de govierno. Creen que el nuevo presidente esta trabajando a favor de una reforma migratoria integral a pesar que no hay un cambio seguro acerca de cual sera su aborde en el caso de las personas ilegales en eeste pais.
Para poder sobrellevar nuestros problemas nesecitamos ambos personas que nos apoyen y ser positivos en cuanto a la situacion en la que nos encontramos. A pesar que en ciertos momentos todo parezca obscuro y sin solucion, las situaciones en esta vida vida son pasajeras y diferentes cada dia.

Finally New President.

New President in El Salvador.
Since the guerrilla signed up peace in The Castle of Moctezuma in 1992. El Salvador have had a right hand government, which have supported just the high class. But last Sunday people finally choose a left hand president: Mauricio Funes. He is a former neutral political analist and moderator. He is the best choice we have had in Salvador in years.
He always opposed to the change of currency and the use of salvadorean troops in Iraq's war. The change of colon for dollar affected deeply the economy and quality of life for poor people, because it rised the pricing of food and the cost of health services. It was almost impossible for worker families who were earning just minimum wage have a good quality of life.
Also was not fear when the goverment traded hundreds of soldier lives for work permission with Washingtong. The president left the families of these soldiers without (in more cases) the only men that provided support to their nest.
And what they did when a soldier was killed? They just gave to the families $1,000.
How cheap is a person's life for those capitalists who just think about the convienience of their interests.
Thanks God we had left behind those corrupt and selfcentered persons when choosing a new president: Mauricio Funes.

First time

First time...
Desde la primera vez que te vi, me perdi en el brillo de tu mirar,
desde que pude oler to aroma, perfumaste mi vida con el deseo de
verte de nuevo.
Pensaras que la distancia es el obstaculo, pero creo hara crecer mis
deseos por ti.
Me embrujaste con el encanto de tu ternura, y me hicieste llorar por
la tristeza de tu partida.
No pude dejar de pensar en tus besos, aun asi no eran tuyos sino de tu
Embriguez.
No pude dejar de pensar en tu aliento, fuerza que motivo el deseo por
verte otra vez.
Me dejas con el corazon en la mano y con el alma rondando en esta
fria ciudad.
Buscando en el pasado el recuerdo de tus besos aquella noche en la
que me enamoraste sin piedad.
English:
Since I first saw you, I lost myself in your bright sight.
Since I could smell your perfume, you brought to my life the desire to
see you again.
You'd think the distance is an obstacle, but I believe I will make
grew my desire for you.
I couldn't stop to think about your kisses, even if was not you but
your drunk state.
I couldn't stop to think about your breath, force that started the
desire to see you again.
You are leaving me with my heart in one hand and my soul flying in
this cold city.
Looking in the past the remembrances of the kisses you gave me the
night you have made me fallen in love of you, without mercy.
FS

The wrestler

I went to see "The wrestler" with Miguel (other of my best friends, Argentinean) yesterday and we left depressed because the thematic that the movie aboard. Before the movie we were talking about aging with no one around us, and then we saw how in the film the main subject was abandoned by his daughter and friends. The movie was well made and the main actor is awesome. Miguel told me that in an interview this actor said that it wasn't hard to represent the character due to he went through the same circumstances during his career. It is funny how the producers represent "the power of the U.S." in some of the scenes in the movie, for example when the main character is wrestling against the guy with the Middle Eastern flag and everyone is yelling ... "U.S.A... U.S.A."
I am not a fan of wrestling but you can see how some persons find is this kind of shows their frustrated dreams become truth. What I mean is what they are giving to people is what people really want: being a super powerful almighty being capable to destroy whatever represents a danger to his/her security. We can find it also in the talk shows, movies, cartoons and sports.
What are really watching? A reality or just a piece of the fantasy world where we want to live?

A Little sad.

I came to see Ross today, we had breakfast and had a little chit chat. He always seem so fine, like anything bothers him. I would like to be like him, very cold and rational. I am trying to find out about the master program in two Universities in the city. There is one in Global health sciences, that I really like, but it's so expensive. We are talking of $37,000, amount not easy to find, of course is a great program of only one year. The other is in Public Health is two years long, interesting and I guess cheaper. I could not sleep yesterday thinking about what I should do. Well I guess I am just going to wait and keep studying the undergraduate subject at city college.

The flooding. 2/15/09

It was around three in the morning when I saw a voicemail from my aunt, I thought she was in the hospital again, thanks to the heavens wasn’t anything serious. She said in the message:”we have a big flood at home, please be careful when you come back from work”. I started to imagine myself coming into a flood of two feet deep with things floating around. I got home around four and the carpet was completely wet and probably three inches deep of water from the ground. I had some personal lost, some chargers and my notebook. The situation made me think about the flooding in Argentina and Colombia, those were big floods. At the next day we talked about with my aunt, and what is really sad over material lost, the human lives that were taken for the flood in those countries. The problem make me wonder first why governments don’t invest in prevention instead just justify later the cause of human and material lost. Second why there is any international intervention in the preventive level to assist less developed areas.The flooding like the rest of natural disasters are out of our control but how about policies and founds that could help to relief or prevent the final price of the problem.
Prevention is master piece in the Heatlh system, if we see countries like cuba, where we find a strong Health system from which we can learn from. They save many lives with the emergency system that educated people to act before disasters. Education is key and they have invest a lot on it.
We'll have the U.N. meeting coming and the Latin American comission of Drugs and democracy where policies can be discussed toward a reform in the international health system. We should learn from all damage is done because natural hazard and look forward new plans that prevent instead treat and regret.

Stem cell. 2/14/09

Carlos (one of my best friends) and I went to get dinner to a Vietnamese restaurant yesterday and like always we start to talk about different matters, from my obsession of buying books to stem cell news.
Every time I walk in a books store I have to buy one or more books, it’s funny but I think I have more books then clothes. I don’t think is anything bad with it, but has been a little problematic sometimes, because some of those babies are really expensive. Yesterday morning I got three, The Stem Cell Dilemma, Milan Kundera the curtain (an essay in seven parts), and the myth of Alzheimer’s.
The preface and introduction of the Stem Cell Dilemma states the debate for which the subject is going through at the present. I just had little information about it, but after I read those parts I understood a lot more, and have a different perception about the research. Two of the barriers that the stem cell research is facing against are the religion and ethics. Carlos is pretty open mind, Even though he is a strong Catholic. The discussion was about our points of view from the religious perspective, mine as liberal protestant and his as Jesuit. We agreed the bible says that a human being starts since the conception and should its life should be conserved, and also that science is working in pro of our life. In the book I found some questions that made us think if our beliefs were valid. When a group of cells became a human being? What makes an embryo a being? Is a person with cerebral death considerate alive? Then we just disserted with ourselves about what would be more important, our belief or the fact that science is working in pro of human life.
I always have been open to new things and I have tried to avoid judgment without research and study first, mostly when I am analyzing my self.

World news.

I just finished reading fourth articles from CNN, as part of my daily ESL activities. The first one was about how wealthy chinese are coming to the states to buy properties. China has one of the largest millionary populations in the world. Swizertland in the other hand confront deficit in they private sector like the rest of the world, of course they stroke the problem before it have gotten worse. Even though the Credit Suisse is going to cut 7,000 employees this year.
I read about where is part of the stimulus package going to, to the health sector thanks' God, but there is a very diverse information about how is going to be used, and some interests that are in game without taking count of people's benefit.
We are living a very convulsive time, time that is going to bring important changes to our status quo. It'd be interesting see how it ends, if we can see it ending though.

Comunity Health Workers.

We had an interesting class this morning, after we studied Intro to Public Health for three weeks or so we started this morning with the CHW. The system is just beginning in the U.S., and what is interesting that El Salvador is working with since the 90's. I have to look up, when we started in El Salvador. We were based in the Cuban model if I am correct and implemented it at the very preventive level. We had a little discution and how the Capitalist system doesn't support it, because is not convienent for the capitalist government, of course the U.S. is a "Democrat country and not Capitalist".
What is really interesting is how the Health system y affected by little changes, the corporations that run the heatlh in the States doesn't consider a necesity the rol of this Health workers. I guess because there are several monetary issues that could be affected. Anyways I have to read more about the subjects in perspective and form a neutral opinion about the matter.

The indulgences are back!!! I hope they don't reinstitute the Saint Inquisition.

Catholic Church selling indulgences! My ESL teacher oppened class with the piece of news. How amazing sounds that the old fashioned form to puge our sins after hundred of years after the reform is resurrecting from the grave. Oh well I have to read the article and see what is about, I know is in the NY Times. I just downloaded a copy already, I have to read it myself and make sure is truth and what is this about. It's just hard to believe.
I just finished class and I am just surfing in the web as usual, everyday after class. I have a lot of homework and reading to do for this week. I just have to work three days, what would help, because I have a biggest chance to advance in the rest of my activities.
I woke up early this morning and I wrote a good part of my book and some poetry as well. I'm just going to wait until I have a good amount of poems to publish them, actually to make my friend Roy check them and have his opinion about the poems.

I have a test. I am not studying, I am writting.

I am at the lab. I am supposed to be studying for my french test today, but I am writting. I am taking french becasue I think comunicaction is essential for us, as humans I mean. It give us the opportunity of express our feelings and though, with this wonderfools tool: language. If a men can listen and understand another men, for me, thos men won a friend's soul. If I just have one person, who really listen and pay attention to my ideas, I feel the most important human in the world. That is why I want speak more than just one language. If the speakers of one don't listen, for sure I will find someone who does in the other ones.
It would be a requirement for everyone -not schoolswise- try to learn a language besides their native. It would open the door to understand and smooth differences with our neirborgs, our friends and our enemies.
Oh well I'm going to study now I need to practice what I preach.

Poema para el salvador

Carta desde una tierra lejana.

Despierto por las madrugadas con pesadillas horrorosas,
ninos torturados o en peligro de muerte,
sangre y lagrimas en torrencial invierno,
calles manchadas con fotografias escandalosas.

Vienen a mis noches terribles imagenes,
llenas de crueldad y de tormento.
Manchada esta la de sangre la tierra mia,
y clama por justicia a los hijos de sus hijos.

No hay justicia que te sane amada mia,
ni penitencia que te salve del pasado que te humilla.

Al no conciliar el sueno solo pregunto a mi mismo
Cuando estara limpio el vientre de la que me trajo al mundo?
Para que pueda engendrar esperanzas nuevas.
Cuando vomitara el veneno que a enganos le hicieron beber?
Para que sane su cuerpo y fortalecida pueda amamantar a las criaturas nuevas.

Cuando podre volver a mi casa? a la casa por la que solia correr cuando era un nino
Cuando podre sentarme en aquella mesa grande y cenar junto a los hermanos mios?

No te pido olvides tu pasado,
ni el dolor del abuso y engano del que fuiste la victima.
Solo deja que el amor y mi anoro sane las heridas del todo.

He buscado refugio en regazos extrangeros,
Preciosas patrias me abrieron sus brazos y el alma para darme alegria,
Sin poder sustituria a la amada mia.

No tengas celos, tu eres el amor de mi vida,
Por quien lloro y suspiro cada dia separado de tu compania, patria mia.

Por Francisco Siguenza.